May 01, 2018 3 min read
It took three different plans, backup baby sitters, an almost cancelation, and two grandmas to juggle childcare. And don’t forget the milk-pumping into town as I chugged down my half-caff coffee and wished by some random act of kindness it would magically transform into a double shot of espresso. It truly was a miracle by miles.
But today, I sat for a solid 3 hours in a quiet space while someone pampered me with a mani-pedi.
Regardless of how much effort it required to get there, and how much I couldn’t wait for the break, the entire time I was there all I talked about were my two beautiful girls. I told her about how sweet and snuggly my baby is becoming and how my four-year-old was crying when I picked her up from school last week because she wasn’t going to Chic-Fil-A with her best friend.
I didn’t talk about these because they are the only things I have to talk about, but because they are my best things.
We fight for one solitary moment to ourselves to relax, to use the restroom, to feel any sense of familiarity to what our life used to feel like… And then that whole moment is spent worrying about kids, thinking about their future, planning the next meal or playdate, or simply sharing stories with a stranger about how fascinating our little humans are becoming.
We can never seem to turn it off.
Maybe some of it is guilt. But I believe it to be rooted in love and amazement of them. It’s a crazy, weird, indescribable love that moms are gifted with.
A gift that comes with challenges that make us stretch ourselves so thin some days we feel like we may come apart at the seams.
Those of us who stay home sacrifice wearing real pants with a pair of heels at a job where we get to talk to other adults. Those who work outside of the home sacrifice moments at home. And those who have raised their kids into adulthood have to sacrifice by letting their precious babies spread their wings.
Being called “Mama” means we sacrifice little tiny morsels of how we used to view ourselves. No matter how you look at it, all of us moms have to let go of a little piece of ourselves everyday to be the best moms we can be. But the craziest thing of all is that rarely in a day do we consider the sacrifice.
We give to every single person in our life who needs something from us. And some days we feel emptied, we feel tired. But never too tired to wake up for that middle of the night feeding. Never too emptied to make dinner, or another snack, or laugh with our babies. Never too broke to send them an extra $20 in the mail when they need it. (Thanks, mom!)
Mama, you are a downright miracle. You are brave for your vulnerability. You are beautiful not only because your babies are beautiful, but because of everything you are and every little sparkle of life you bring into each day.
At the end of the day, the fact that you can leave your house with a diaper bag full of every endless unanticipated need, kids in tow, coffee in hand, keys somewhere in the bottom of a bag, with pants on, makes you a straight up champion.
We are by no means less interesting because raising our kids is our whole world right now. It makes us multi-tasking, love-crazed, creative thinkers with the best job in the entire world (and with the yoga pants to show for it).
“It comes somewhat naturally to have a baby and feel like a Mama. It’s in discovering how to still feel like a woman where the magic lies.” - Casey V. Dye
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